How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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