Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
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I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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