You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
