White coat. Heels.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
