in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
