when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
