try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
two words: eviction party
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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