So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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