Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize