there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
