the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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