my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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