Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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