in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
