If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
