I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
