My friends, they love my intelligence
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
