Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i've created a new STD.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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