the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize