Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
