I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
