tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize