He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
