told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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