Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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