Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
