Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
