Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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