honey bunches of taint.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
