youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize