I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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