Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
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I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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