First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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