doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
