I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
