ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
