Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize