fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
