So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
