before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize