I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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