Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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