Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
