it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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