Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
