I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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