He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
