Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
