Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No subtext here. People are naked.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
