people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
