we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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