I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
