i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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