the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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