he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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