good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
