we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
