i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize