Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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