He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
