You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
