I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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