If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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