You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
